Fortesque and the art of the scrap

Opinion

Stepney FC are not exactly playing the champagne football of the era. They are a side that mostly prefers to keep the ball far away from their own goal. Yet Arthur Fortesque seems to have found a way to make a living out of it. His goal in the 2-1 win over Kirkby FC on Sunday 16 August has put him on 11 for the season.

It is a curious achievement. Stepney do not often provide the kind of service that usually leads to a Golden Boot race. Fortesque spends a fair amount of time chasing ghosts in the final third (allegedly). He seems to thrive on the scraps. It is a bit like watching a man try to build a house using only the things he finds in a skip. The house is currently standing.

The rest of the league's strikers are currently staring at the ceiling. Some of them play for clubs with budgets that could buy a small island, yet they are trailing a man who likely spends his Tuesdays cleaning the boot room. He is not a marvel in the traditional sense. He is just remarkably efficient at being in the right place at the wrong time for the opposition.

The other strikers will spend tomorrow morning wondering why their sophisticated tactical setups are being outperformed by a man who looks like he has just been woken up from a nap. He is one for the future, provided that future involves a lot of opportunistic tapping-ins. He is currently the most dangerous man in the league, despite Stepney FC being a team that occasionally forgets how to pass. Typical really.