Monday 3 August brought a Matchday 9 fixture that felt more like a waiting room than a football match. Hitchin Athletic, currently 13th and habitually inconsistent, hosted a Kirkby FC side languishing in 19th. The scoreline was 0–0 at the break and remained so until the final whistle.

In fairness, the Kirkby defenders showed a level of discipline that almost bordered on the professional. However, the breakdown of the attacking play was staggering. In terms of individual rank, the Kirkby keeper is currently the only player in their squad who looks like he knows where the touchline is.

“In terms of individual rank, the Kirkby keeper is currently the only player in their squad who looks like he knows where the touchline is.”

Comparison is a cruel thing, but Hitchin were no better. Their output was nonexistent. It was the kind of game where you start wondering if the grass is growing too quickly for the ball to move. Typical, really. A point each, and a collective sense of exhaustion for everyone who paid for a ticket.