Look, for the first half hour, it was a stalemate. The kind of game where you start wondering if the grass is a bit too long or if everyone has simply forgotten how to pass. Then, in the 31st minute, Reinout van Doorn found a way through in open play to make it 1-0. It was a goal that felt less like a tactical masterstroke and more like a sudden, inexplicable lapse in Crookes' concentration.

Then things got weird.

So here is the thing: Wellsford decided they didn't actually need a full team. Oscar Templeton saw red in the 37th minute. Most teams would hunker down, but Wellsford decided to double down on the chaos. Effiong Banda-Phiri followed him into the tunnel with another straight red in the 41st. Ten minutes. Two reds. It was typical, really.

But then, just as the crowd started preparing for a very long, very lonely afternoon of defending, Adriano Crialese scored in the 45th minute. He took a ball from Alexis Anglade and slotted it home right on the stroke of half-time. Honestly, it was the most efficient way to kill a game. Scoring a second goal while your teammates are still probably arguing with the referee in the tunnel is a special kind of cruelty. It flipped the momentum entirely, leaving Crookes to spend the rest of the match playing against nine men who were suddenly very, very motivated to not move from their own penalty area.

“But then, just as the crowd started preparing for a very long, very lonely afternoon of defending, Adriano Crialese scored in the 45th minute.”

The second half was a slow fade. Wellsford spent fifty-three minutes with Templeton missing and forty-nine with Banda-Phiri gone. They spent most of the time shifting shapes, basically forming a human wall and hoping for the best. Crookes had the numbers, but they had the vibes of a team that had just seen a magic trick they couldn't explain. They couldn't break through.

I reckon Wellsford have discovered a bold new strategy: win the game early and then spend an hour playing with a massive numerical disadvantage just to see if they can get away with it.

Next week, they might actually try to finish the game with eleven players.